November 2007

As much as I look forward every year to the holidays, I have some trepidation this year. My mother loved the holidays and in our family she made it special for all of us, from the time we were very young and up to her very last one a year ago. I cannot imagine the coming months without her.

Memories are powerful things and because they are so personal, there is no one else who can quite grasp what our feelings are when we are faced with such loss and the longing for a loved one. Thus, the holidays are a mixed blessing this year.

God is the maker of all things - relationships and memories and feelings - so surely he knows our hearts. But…I am reminded of the little girl who was afraid of the dark. When her mother told her that God was with her so she shouldn’t be afraid she said “But I want someone with skin on!” Sometimes as much as we may feel His presence and love, we cannot deny the longing for someone with “skin on”.

I look forward to Thanksgiving this year. My children will all be home and we will gather around our table, enjoying the love and camaraderie that only exists within a family. But there will be an empty chair at the table and it will be hard to ignore that. I guess we shouldn’t try. Because trying to pretend that everything is OK is almost as bad as constantly complaining about everything! There is a happy medium of acknowledgement and acceptance for us to find. We will be looking for that balance this year.

Because as we approach the holidays we are aware that, most of all, life is about a God who loved us so much that He sent a tiny baby in human form. And that love is one we will never lose. That is His promise.

I hope that you and yours have a blessed holiday season this year because regardless of the circumstances of our lives there is always that to be thankful for. I miss my Mom. But I am thankful for God’s love and His gift that keeps on giving.

Until next month,
Barbara