View from the Pew

June 2008

2008-05-28T10:15:00.001-04:00

So far there have been no takers on my offer for someone to write this column. I guess it doesn’t seem to be as much fun to others as it does to me! Well, as the saying goes, different strokes for different folks. I find it liberating and stress-relieving to sit at the computer and just write the things I am thinking about.

Like today, for instance. I just walked out to my home office and as I did I could not help but notice that the lilac bushes just outside the windows were about to burst. In another day or two I will be smiling at the sight of those beautiful, purple blossoms, each one pointing upwards like an arrow, as though making sure we know they were sent from heaven to declare the glory of God. And the smell – talk about heavenly! It has got to be one of the most heady of all floral scents and I cannot help but fill pitchers and vases with them every year to set out on my tables and counters throughout my house. They beguile me with their visual statements every time I walk by. “Look at me! Look at me! Can you imagine anything more beautiful than I?” they shout.

These lilac bushes provide another special pleasure for me – they are offshoots of the ones in my mother’s yard. It was about 10 years ago now that I went over there at her urging and dug up a few small ones that had begun to appear around her old bushes. In no time at all they were flourishing nicely and I’m grateful that I heeded her plead. “Take them” she had said to me, “they’re free and they’re wonderful!” How right she was. And now they carry the added bonus of reminding me of Mom.

As I sit here I am reminded that this coming Sunday is Mother’s Day. I miss Mom every day but Mother’s Day is especially painful. I don’t have Mom with me anymore, but her lilacs are here to remind me of her – which they do whenever I see them. And I love that.

Until next month!
Barbara

May 2008

2008-04-25T11:49:00.002-04:00

It was fifteen years ago that I began working at the church office. Along with the other duties that the job entailed, I was asked to put a monthly newsletter together. It was a bit daunting at first because I was learning a new computer program as well as about the church and the various boards and committees that needed reporting about, but my lifelong love of writing made it an enjoyable task and in a few short months it became one of my favorite jobs there.

When I left that job in 2002 I assumed that a new editor would be writing this column, which had been titled “From the Front Desk” at the time. Apparently the secretaries that followed me did not share my enthusiasm for prose because in turn they each asked if I would agree to continue writing, which I have - albeit with a different angle (from the pews instead of the office)! It has been a wonderful opportunity for me to write about my thoughts, both spiritual and otherwise, and I love writing about the things I see and the ideas that come in and out of my head. It’s my therapy, if you will, and I have enjoyed it immensely. It’s made me feel connected to all of you in a unique way, as various ones engage me in conversation about the column nearly every month.

It recently occurred to me that perhaps I am taking up space that someone else might like to use. Are there other writers out there who would enjoy being able to share their own view from their very own pew? It would be wonderful to hear from someone else!

So this is an invitation to anyone who might like to try their hand at composing and editing a column for the newsletter every month. I would gladly turn over the reigns to someone – so please let me know. We would love to hear from a new voice, with a new perspective. Or maybe there are many of you and a revolving series of writers could be used in this space.

May is a month of beginnings – most notably the beginning of the season here in East Hampton. It could also be a new beginning for this column. How about it – any takers? If no one speaks up…...

Until next month!
Barbara

April 2008

2008-04-16T11:51:00.000-04:00

I’m looking forward to spring this year with more than a little enthusiasm. Despite the fact that it was a mild and pleasant winter, I find myself longing for the sun and the warm weather this year – unusually so. I’m really not a hot weather person generally speaking so this comes as a bit of a surprise.

I’m not sure what to attribute that to, but I normally enjoy winters more than I did this one. Perhaps because there wasn’t one really nice snow storm the entire season to give me a good excuse to sit inside all day reading a book and eating popcorn. Whatever the reason, I found it a melancholy time and so I’m looking forward to coming out of the doldrums real soon. Because April is here!

In April I look forward to the warmer weather and of course the wonderful greening of the East End. Many places have much earlier springs than we do, but to me it’s just right the way it is and April is the perfect month for spring to begin in earnest.

I remember many years of sitting in school classrooms in April, with windows opened to the warm air allowing the smell of fresh mown grass to float in for the first time in the season. It was a heady smell and it still triggers all sorts of memories – of friends and classmates, teachers and lessons, and even the colors and accessories in certain classrooms come vividly to mind. Every year I look forward to that first mowing.

As of this writing it is still a few weeks away. But in no time at all we’ll be catching the scent of that newly mown grass and watching the daffodils pop up all over town. Because East Hampton is awaking from its winter sleep and we are all glad.

Until next month,
Barbara

March 2008

2008-02-28T12:25:00.002-05:00

I’m at an age where I’m beginning to take stock of all the things I still want to do before my life is over. I’m not a fatalist or anything – I really don’t dwell on death, and I certainly don’t think I am ready to die – but when you get to be my age you consider your mortality more often. At least, I know I am. Perhaps this is connected to my mother’s death last year, I don’t really know. But whatever the reason, I’ve been giving lots of thought to the things I would still like to do during my lifetime. There are so many places I want to physically see and things I want to accomplish - and I doubt I’ll ever do half of them…but I’m going to start trying!

At the same time I find that this period in my life finds me spiritually longing as well. My heart yearns to more fully “abide” in God. This is an attribute that I saw clearly in my mother, this ability to simply abide in the presence of God. She peacefully lived her life with both confidence and contentment, regardless of what was happening around her. Her life was not always easy and she had her trials, but she always seemed to manage to be at peace with everything – a quiet presence in the midst of any storm. Mom’s example was a wonderful gift to her children - but I am left now with the puzzle of how to accomplish this “abiding” myself - this ability to let go of my fears and worries, turn them over to God, and be surrounded by Him. Yes - that’s the tricky part.

So here I am celebrating another birthday and thinking about both the spiritual and physical things I have left to do. One of my greatest faults is that I tend to jump from one thing to another rather quickly, not standing in any one place too long. So “abiding” is not something that comes naturally to me! I tend to find a “frantic” journey exhilarating… but I also long for the ability to simply “abide”.

Webster says that to “abide” is ”to continue in a place; sojourne, stay…” and my favorite, “to conform to”. So that is my prayer for the year 2008 – to “conform to” God. It’s very much where I want to be. I know it will be a bumpy road but the destination will be worth the trip.

Until next month,
Barbara

February 2008

2008-01-22T12:48:00.000-05:00

It seems as though the most profound moments in life often come when we are least expecting them. Often they go by without even being noticed if we are not looking at the world through spiritual eyes. I am thinking of a day just this past September when I was sitting at the ocean in my car, having a morning bagel and watching the sea gulls enjoy the leftovers from the beach crowd. Suddenly the day changed drastically as what had been a bright and beautiful sky turned dark and foreboding, with huge cumulous clouds racing at us from the south as menacingly and rapidly as I have ever seen.

It is wonderful to be at the beach when something like that happens because the horizon is wide and open and you can see for miles and miles. Anyway, I was fascinated with the way these particular clouds rolled into sight, quickly filling the sky with an oncoming storm.

I first thought about our ancestors here, many of whom made their living from the sea. I once read through some of the early records of the church and was fascinated by the way that the Rev. Nathaniel Huntting had carefully recorded the deaths that occurred during the years of his ministry here. Among the causes like “consumption” and “child birth” I found this sad and telling entry more than once: “Lost at sea”.

Then just as quickly my thoughts turned to a spiritual application and I remembered the story of Jesus going out in the boat with his disciples. While he slept peacefully in the bow of the boat, the storm clouds gathered in just the same way – unexpectedly and quickly, overwhelming the crew who were soon afraid for their lives. His words then are as significant to us today as they were when they were first spoken: “Peace, be still”.

Suddenly I was in one of those profound moments. I thought about my life, about my fears and worries - things that were consuming me at the time. And I thought about Jesus’ words: Peace, be still. Such a simple message and yet so full of God’s love and wisdom! If only I could make that message part of my daily meditation, perhaps things like paying bills and fixing leaky faucets would find their proper perspective and I would worry less and enjoy life more.
Like I said – a profound moment. Simply from watching storm clouds mount in an autumn sky. I went home and wrote those words on a piece of paper and lay it in my make-up drawer where I would was sure to see it every morning before I left the house. Peace. Be still. What a perfect way to start the day - with God’s peace and with a still heart, ready and waiting for the next lesson, the next profound moment. May I always be open to those moments!

Until next month,
Barbara

January 2008

2008-01-02T13:51:00.000-05:00

As I write this column we have not yet had a significant snowfall and I’m actually hoping for it to happen soon. There’s something magical about the first snowfall of the season, and having it happen when the Christmas lights are strung along Main Street is always a special treat - a Currier & Ives print come to life in the 21st century. (As long as there isn’t too much and it doesn’t last too long - because I do want to have my cake and eat it too!

January will be a difficult month for me – it’s the anniversary of my mother’s death. But I am hoping that once it passes I will begin to see the reality of what people have been promising: “It will get better” they tell me. Right now I cannot imagine that it will. I was not prepared for the effect my mother’s death would have on me, but it has certainly given me a new appreciation for her life and what her influence on me was. I imagine I took her for granted, as we are all apt to do with those we love. Having her gone makes me more appreciative of the people I have in my life and perhaps less likely to take them for granted. She would be pleased to know she is still teaching me lessons!

I view January every year as a new beginning - a time to open a new, clean calendar, and re-assess where I am and where I want to be at the end of the brand new year. I look forward to 2008 because there is promise around every corner in life and I know that things will happen in the next 12 months that we would never have anticipated.

My New Year’s wish for all of you is that this will be one of your very best years ever. And I wish the same for First Presbyterian Church. We have wonderful things in store for us and I foresee a future of new fellowship opportunities, exciting strategic planning, meaningful outreach, and exploring our spiritual walks together as we navigate this tricky road we call life. It is the unknown that makes it such an exhilarating journey. I look forward to taking the journey with you.

Until next month,
Barbara

December 2007

2007-12-04T10:20:00.001-05:00

My spiritual walk continues to be a work in progress despite the fact that I am 55 years old. It shouldn’t be a surprise to me because I know that none of us will be “perfected” in this life, but I confess that when I was younger I thought I would be smarter, wiser, and more discerning than I am at this point. Actually, I thought I would have written a few best selling novels by now, too. Well – chalk that up to the optimism of youth!

I am fascinated by the way God continues to enlighten me and grateful that the learning process never ends. As young people I guess we all think we will know so much more when we are older. But as older people we begin to understand that the real joy is in the journey - the enlightenment - not in actually reaching the goal. So…I remain content to be sitting at the feet of the Master, forever His student and always learning.

This month that journey will no doubt draw me closer to Him while I face the sadness - and the elation - that the holidays will bring. I am so blessed to be surrounded by people I love. And yet…I ache for one who is not here. There are many conflicting emotions at work and it is something I am working through.

Christmas is a time to remember that God loves us so much he was willing to send His son to make the ultimate sacrifice in our stead. How easy it is to understand what a sacrifice that was when we are grieving for a loved one. This Christmas I will use my grief as a spiritual tool – a reminder that God’s sacrifice was made for me, an undeserving, middle-aged woman who still has not written her first novel or fulfilled her many other youthful fantasies. But a baby was sent to earth so long ago for me - and for you. Do you deserve it any more than I?

May the message of Christmas be especially meaningful for you this year, as it is for me. And may God’s love surround all of us – those who are grieving, those who are suffering physically, those who are lonely – and may it comfort us with the message of hope. Because hope is something we very much need in the world.

Have a very merry Christmas!

Until next month,
Barbara

November 2007

2007-10-29T11:46:00.000-04:00

As much as I look forward every year to the holidays, I have some trepidation this year. My mother loved the holidays and in our family she made it special for all of us, from the time we were very young and up to her very last one a year ago. I cannot imagine the coming months without her.

Memories are powerful things and because they are so personal, there is no one else who can quite grasp what our feelings are when we are faced with such loss and the longing for a loved one. Thus, the holidays are a mixed blessing this year.

God is the maker of all things - relationships and memories and feelings - so surely he knows our hearts. But…I am reminded of the little girl who was afraid of the dark. When her mother told her that God was with her so she shouldn’t be afraid she said “But I want someone with skin on!” Sometimes as much as we may feel His presence and love, we cannot deny the longing for someone with “skin on”.

I look forward to Thanksgiving this year. My children will all be home and we will gather around our table, enjoying the love and camaraderie that only exists within a family. But there will be an empty chair at the table and it will be hard to ignore that. I guess we shouldn’t try. Because trying to pretend that everything is OK is almost as bad as constantly complaining about everything! There is a happy medium of acknowledgement and acceptance for us to find. We will be looking for that balance this year.

Because as we approach the holidays we are aware that, most of all, life is about a God who loved us so much that He sent a tiny baby in human form. And that love is one we will never lose. That is His promise.

I hope that you and yours have a blessed holiday season this year because regardless of the circumstances of our lives there is always that to be thankful for. I miss my Mom. But I am thankful for God’s love and His gift that keeps on giving.

Until next month,
Barbara